I haven't been here for quite some time. I lost interest in blogging for almost a year. Not that I would be back but I just have to let things out here.
What would you do if someone you love lie to you? Despite what you give and what you sacrifice to ensure that this love last forever but somehow, that someone keeps repeating the same mistakes?
Well, I admit that I did fight for this love. Fighting and sacrificing what I have and what I could to keep hold on to that someone. But then again, that someone just never cares.
I was there when that person was having the greatest pain of its life. Yes, I was there giving all the support and the care in the world. But I was paid with infidelity and lies.
I still remember when I saw those pictures. It was like someone has "slapped" me on my face. It felt like that all these years, my heart didn't matter coz all that someone cares is to have fun with whoever it wants. Tasting all the worldly heaven on earth.
I believe in second chance and I forgave. Not long after that, that someone was diagnosed with something that I called an "eye opener". The truth revealing the infidelity and lies that it did behind me. Yes!!! That someone was devastated. I was also devastated. It felt like the whole world was turning around. But I kept myself strong for that someone. Hoping that one day, it will heal and things are gonna better.
But now, things weren't the same anymore. I didn't know where my heart is. I didn't know where my mind is. I'm LOST!!! Lost because I am now not sure how I feel towards that someone.
Should I let go or should I keep holding on?
But the pain of holding on is greater than the pain of letting go...
And I am not sure whether 12th April this year means anything to me or not....
God, please show me the way....