12 APRIL 2012

I haven't been here for quite some time. I lost interest in blogging for almost a year. Not that I would be back but I just have to let things out here.

What would you do if someone you love lie to you? Despite what you give and what you sacrifice to ensure that this love last forever but somehow, that someone keeps repeating the same mistakes?

Well, I admit that I did fight for this love. Fighting and sacrificing what I have and what I could to keep hold on to that someone. But then again, that someone just never cares.

I was there when that person was having the greatest pain of its life. Yes, I was there giving all the support and the care in the world. But I was paid with infidelity and lies.

I still remember when I saw those pictures. It was like someone has "slapped" me on my face. It felt like that all these years, my heart didn't matter coz all that someone cares is to have fun with whoever it wants. Tasting all the worldly heaven on earth.

I believe in second chance and I forgave. Not long after that, that someone was diagnosed with something that I called an "eye opener". The truth revealing the infidelity and lies that it did behind me. Yes!!! That someone was devastated. I was also devastated. It felt like the whole world was turning around. But I kept myself strong for that someone. Hoping that one day, it will heal and things are gonna better.

But now, things weren't the same anymore. I didn't know where my heart is. I didn't know where my mind is. I'm LOST!!! Lost because I am now not sure how I feel towards that someone.

Should I let go or should I keep holding on?

But the pain of holding on is greater than the pain of letting go...

And I am not sure whether 12th April this year means anything to me or not....

God, please show me the way....

CLOSURE

Tadi aku teringat....


Teringat dengan nasihat aku dekat seorang blogger yang hina Sarawak aritu...


Instead of bitching to her, I took a different approach.


And I told her,

"Dik, kita hidup kat dunia ni nak carik redha Allah. Bukan nak carik musuh atau nak benci orang. Rasanya tak salah kalo adik minta maaf."

And she DID minta maaf kat semua orang Sarawak.


Dan tadi, aku teringat dengan situasi aku sendiri.


Kadang-kadang kite pandai nasihat orang tapi tak pandai apply kat diri sendiri.


Tapi aku tak hina orang mana-mana. It's just that aku teringat dengan ayat:

"Kita hidup kat dunia ni nak cari redha Allah"

Aku kecik hati dengan seseorang sekarang. Kecik hati yang membuatkan aku kurang tenang beberapa hari ini.


Sebelum tido malam, aku teringat dan selepas bangun pagi tadi aku teringat.


Kecik ati ngan orang memang menyakitkan. Boleh makan diri.


Penyelesaiannya ialah biarlah dia nak buat apa yang dia nak buat.


Aku dah buat apa yang aku patut buat.


Tapi kita niat apa yang kita buat adalah kerana kita mencari keredhaan Allah.


Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui.


Tapi untuk orang yang aku kecik ati tu, aku dah mula tawar hati.

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER...

Tadi aku dok stalk profile seseorang ni...

Saje je coz tension ngan keje banyak kat ofis.

Aku terkejut giler biler aku nampak status dia:

SINGLE?!!!

Bile dah diaorang ni putus? No wonder aku tak nampak updates diaorang.

Bf orang yang aku stalk ni leh kata macam member baik aku jugak la coz kisah kitaorang hampir sama.

Masa bf dia jumpa buah hati dia, time tu jugak aku ada kenal seseorang ni.

Sebelom tu, bf dia pun merana macam aku gak...

Meroyan tak tentu pasal kat blog. Buat statement sedey...

Sedih jugak bile aku dapat tau diaorang dah tak bersama coz diaorang memang such a sweet and loving couple. 

I wish nothing but the best for them.

p/s: Di mana ada pertemuan, di situ ada perpisahan.

VLOGGER

It has been quite some time I didn't post anything on my blog.

I'm not busy but I was pretending to be busy. Hahahahahahaha...

So, nothing much that I can write here.

I spent my night watching some Youtubers. (or is it Vlogger? Whatever then..)

I found some of them are really good in their video.

And one of them is AmanWan.

This guy is a new vlogger. Some bloggers claimed him to be the next TOP VLOGGER.

Well, we'll see on that. But his videos are cool!!!

Another top vlogger is Anwar Hadi.

He won the award from Digi.

Believe it or not, he's one of my junior way back in Institut Perguruan Kampus Pulau Pinang.

His batch are the lucky ones coz they get to go to Sydney, Australia for their twinning programme.

Jealous jugak but rezki masing-masing kan?

And his videos are SUPER COOL!!!!

Lastly, this AimanAzlan.

The Islamic Vlogger.

I even followed him on Twitter coz I'm impressed of how he made me think about being a Muslim.

*If you want to be a Vlogger, make sure you are creative and ORIGINAL. 

p/s: Another 15 minutes left. I will be on my way to the airport. Convocation would be next week. Alhamdulillah coz 6 years of studying has officially ended with this wonderful occasion.